Trigger Warning: Strong Language
The Hyper-Focused Super Power: Why You Should Listen to Your ADHD Friend.
I’m your friendly neighbourhood superhero, The Intuitor, with the power of ADHD. One of my super powers is as unique as it gets. Forget about super strength or flying—how about the ability to know when someone’s a bit of a knob?
Yep, you heard that right. I can pick up on the tiniest changes in tone, the slightest facial expressions, and other subtle clues that most people miss. It's like having a sixth sense for spotting dickheads before the shit-show even begins.
The Power of Intuitive Super-Sensing
You know how Spidey has his Spidey-sense? Well, I’ve got my Intuitor-sense, and it’s just as awesome. My power isn’t guessing—it's noticing those little details that others overlook.
Spotting Villains in Disguise: Introducing a new partner or friend to me? If I get a weird vibe, it’s not just paranoia, they're gonna fuck with you. You're gonna get hurt. My Dickhead spotting radar is more on highly tuned than my Gaydar, and that's impeccably calibrated.
Detecting deceit and manipulation hidden behind a smile is one of my talents. Trust my instincts and you might dodge a bullet, or at least save yourself some 'Post Narcissist Therapy'.
Unmasking False Heroes: Ever noticed how some celebrities seem perfect until they’re suddenly canceled? I’ve been calling out their shady vibes for years. If I say there's something off about them, it’s because I’ve picked up on the signs way before the shit hits the fan.
Decoding Hidden Agendas: In the workplace I see the secret glances, the hushed tones, and the body language that screams “shagging in the stockroom”. What's that stain on your dress Monica? Mayo? Sod off - I'm not stupid.
Trust The Intuitor's Instincts
I think of my hyper-focus as a super tool for discerning the truth in a world full of deception.
Here’s why you should always listen to your ADHD superhero friends:
Avoiding Emotional Traps: Heed our warnings about potential partners or friends, and you’ll avoid emotional landmines and toxic relationships. We can eat a pint of Ice Cream mate, you don't need to date a dick to justify it.
Staying Ahead of Scandals: My predictions about celebrities or public figures? They’re like spoiler alerts for real-life drama. Stay prepared for the inevitable, Surprise, the filty horn-dog was shagging that young lad old on the movie set the whole time...
Mastering Social Dynamics: In professional settings, my sharp observations help you make better decisions about who to trust, or, if you prefer - I can tell you who Karen from Finance is blowing in the copy room.
Enhancing Your Life with The Intuitor's Guidance
Embracing our insights can seriously upgrade your life. Our superhuman ability to detect subtle shifts in behavior and pick up on micro communications gives you a heads-up in both personal and professional realms. I can help you avoid disasters, spot hidden opportunities, and lead a more informed, smoother life journey. Or just provide the scandalous, salacious gossip - it's up to you.
So, next time I give you that knowing look or express concern about someone in your life, take it seriously. My intuition is a powerful ally, and by trusting me, you can make smarter choices and enjoy a more awesome, drama-free life.