Being Gay wasn't something that I was 'Proud' about.
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I remember my first pride event and I have a confession: I wasn’t really onboard. I've always been uncomfortable with the concept of Pride. I might fuck men, on occasion love them, and once even married one - but being Bi/Gay wasn’t part of my core identity, it had little impact on my daily life.
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I've always been okay when people assumed my partner was a woman, in fact l kinda liked it when people said ‘I never knew you were gay’. Look how butch, how normal I am. (I'm cringing at this internalised homophobia now, I’ve worked through it, I promise).
I thought asking if I have a girlfriend or wife was harmless. I thought, in this heteronormative society, it was perfectly acceptable to make this assumption. I did correct you, of course, but discreetly - to make sure you were not made to feel uncomfortable.
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If your 'mistake' was rooted in negative feelings about homosexuality, I didn’t care too much; that was your problem, assume what you like, make whatever judgements you like, just know you had better accept my right to equality. I will refer to my partner with their real pronouns. I will bring them to the Christmas Party. I won't hide in the closet to make you feel more comfortable. It isn't a big deal for me. Don't make it one.
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I'm privileged. I am a white, cis, masculine presenting man. I've never experienced any real homophobia, discrimination or malice. I'm surround by friends, family, and colleagues who have accepted me at face value. I recognise my privilege, and I know that others struggle much more.
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Here's the kicker though; being able to be myself actually isn't a privilege; it's my right - it's our right - a basic expectation. These days I defy you or anyone else to deny any of us that. I won't correct you discreetly anymore...
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My experience of acceptance isn't shared by all of the LGBTQ+ community. Waving flags, wearing glitter and holding our partners’ hands, wearing out outlandish outfits, being seen and represent is part of the party that is Pride, but don't get complacent, it is still an act of protest.
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I was uncomfortable with ‘Pride’ as ‘Gay' isn't something I've achieved, so I had no reason to be ‘Proud’ of it - I was made this way - so I was grateful, but not proud.
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Today our despicable government and our right-wing media actively seek to hurt, oppress and demonise members of the LGBTQ+ community. The ‘culture war’ targetting trans men and women is insidious. Their dog whistle hatred will not win.
We will protest, we will fight, we will stand together. Until our sexuality is much an non-issue for the world as it is for us, until we can walk hand in hand, in safety and without judgement, until homophobia, biphobiba and transphobia are eliminated, until we are accepted and respected, until we are truly equal.
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Pride month is coming, boys and girls, theys and thems - it's time for us wear of flags like capes, throw on those heels and wigs, sprinkling the glitter and party under our rainbow. It's time for us to be seen.
Remeber though, our party will continue to be a protest. We will stand together, we will overcome hatred, we will have equality. That's something I have Pride in.
Have an amazing Pride x