My Secret
Alright, gather round, folks, because I'm about to let you in on a little secret of mine that's been the cornerstone of my sanity for sometime now. You may know the struggle of wanting some peace and quiet after a long day, but also not wanting to be labeled rude for leaving people on read, or worse, accused of ghosting those you love. Well, fear not, for I have discovered the magic of having not one, but two bedtimes.
Picture this: it's 10:30pm, and you've had it up to here with the demands of the world. Work emails, Teams calls, group chats, Grindr Taps and Insta DMs - you name it, they're all clamouring for your attention. But fear not, for I have the perfect solution. You announce to the world, "Goodnight folks, bedtime for me! Catch you tomorrow! x" And just like that, you've entered the realm of the mythical "social bedtime."
Now, let's be real here. Social bedtime isn't about actually hitting the hay. Oh no, it's a strategic manoeuvre—a diplomatic declaration that says, "I'm off the clock, leave me be." It's a beautiful fib, a white lie for the greater good of your mental wellbeing. And let me tell you, it's delicious.
You see, the brilliance of the social bedtime lies in its flexibility. It can be as early or as fashionably late as you please. Feeling particularly drained? Declare bedtime at 9pm and revel in the luxury of silence. Got a second wind? Push it to 11:30pm and bask in the glow of your newfound social freedom. The choice is yours, my friends.
What happens after bedtime?
Nothing is more pleasurable that a post-social-bedtime mooch around the internet; enjoy losing yourself in a Reddit rabbit hole, a TikTok time trap or just idling on Insta. But with this there is some danger. You will be betrayed by your "online" status; ruthlessly outing your "goodnight" declaration as deception! It's like being caught with your hand in the cookie jar after swearing off sweet things.
So this is the point that we all promise to ignore online statuses after we have said our goodnights. The green dot is the lie and we are as honest Captain Jack Sparrow. That way our secret dual bedtime remains safe and sound. At the very least, let's agree we will not call each other out on the deception. Savvy?
A second bedtime
Later on is where the real magic happens: the second bedtime. Ah yes, the one that's just for you. The true bedtime, the one where you actually crawl under the covers and bid the day adieu. Relaxed, refreshed and disconnected from the demands of modern world that all of us, but especially us ADHDers, struggle with.
Now, some might argue that this whole dual bedtime situation is a tad deceitful. "Isn't lying to your loved ones wrong?" they'll gasp. To which I say: no. This is self-preservation, a form of self love. In a world that's constantly vying for our attention, carving out some "me time" is not only essential but downright heroic.
Embrace the art of the dual bedtime with pride. After all, a well-rested, stress-free you is a gift to humanity. And if anyone dares to question your bedtime antics, remember Captain Jack
"The only rules that matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."
And you can go to bed, socially, or otherwise at any time you like.
Goodnight
With that, my lovelies, I bid you goodnight— social goodnight that is, my real bedtime is some way off just yet, and time off the social clock lays ahead. When you do go to bed, whenever your real bedtime is, I hope your dreams be sweet and your mornings mercifully late.