top of page
Writer's pictureLee C

Learning "Fuck No!" for Self-Preservation

Updated: May 30

Every now and then, I screw up. I take on more than I can handle, say yes to everything, and end up with a schedule that's tighter than a nervous bottom at a sex club. And right now, I'm elbow-deep in it, so to speak. Since the beginning of the year, my weekends have been booked solid. Between work, keeping up with mates and dates, and juggling volunteer shifts, I'm stretched thin.



Another week starts and I'm feeling wrecked already, I gotta ask myself, why did I sign up for all this?


It's moments like these when I look back and realise that past me dropped the ball by not saying no more often. Now, I'm paying the price.


Let's be clear, my packed work and social life isn't something I'm bragging about. It's not about wearing burnout like a badge of honour. It's about recognising that success isn't just about hustling 24/7.


I'm trying to keep my head straight (as best I can), nurture relationships with those I love, and making time for the stuff that lights me up, all while holding down the fort at work and giving back where I can.


At 40-something, I'm still figuring out my limits - and frustratingly it turns out, they change as you get older.

I've been practising over the last year or so, saying no more often - thinking twice before I commit and I'm going to redouble my effort.


Before I say yes, I'm gonna ask myself, "How's future me gonna feel about this?"


Reading "F**k No!" by Sarah Knight was a game-changer for me. Knight's straight-up advice on setting boundaries and taking back control of your time is like a breath of fresh air. Her no-nonsense tips and down-to-earth wisdom have given me the guts to put myself first without feeling guilty about it.


I'm carving out some space for myself, no apologies. It isn't about slacking off or shirking responsibilities. It's about finding that sweet spot between work and play, between giving and taking, that keeps me sane and satisfied.


I used to think saying yes to everything was the key to success. But now, I see it differently. Success isn't about running yourself ragged; it's about finding balance. It's about knowing when to say no so you can say yes to the things that truly matter.



So, how did I get here? Well, let me take you back a bit. Growing up, I was always taught to never turn down an opportunity. And for the most part, that served me well. But somewhere along the way, I lost sight of the importance of saying no.


Fast forward to today, and I'm balls-deep in commitments, wondering how I'm gonna make it through the week. I realise I've let myself down. 'Past me' let 'now me' down by not keeping my boundaries, and 'now me' is paying the price.


It's not about being lazy or selfish. It's about recognising that my mental health, my relationships, my well-being and my need for time alone are worth protecting.


It's about finding that balance between work and play, friends and solitude, between saying yes and saying no.


So, moving forward, I'm making a commitment; I'm gonna start saying no more often and carving out more space for the things that truly matter.


Here's to learning from our mistakes, and to living life on our own terms.

bottom of page