Let me tell you about my best mate’s birthday bash. It was a house party with 30-plus people, loud music, chatter, laughter, kids running around, and a general vibe that screamed celebratory chaos. Sounds like fun, right? Well, for me, it quickly became a sensory overload nightmare.
As someone with ADHD, my brain doesn’t quite filter out all the background noise and distractions like others might.
So this party was a sensory bomb.
The noise, the lights, the constant hum of conversation—it all started to blend into an overwhelming cacophony. My brain began to freeze, and my anxiety levels doubled, then doubled again. I could feel my skin crawling. I became hyper-aware of everything: the fridge humming, the feel of my socks on my feet, the tag in my shirt rubbing in my neck, the cool glass in my hand, the lights, the laughter, and the running tap. My heart rate shot up, and a sense of inner rage began to build.
Before my ADHD diagnosis, I would’ve thought I was just broken, antisocial, and a bit of a grump. But now I understand that it’s just my brain being unable to filter out all the input.
I’ve learned some tricks to help—loop earplugs, taking breaks in quieter spaces, and ultimately, discreetly removing myself from overwhelming situations.
At that moment, all I wanted was to leave. Immediately. Without fuss, without talking to anyone, and without having to explain or make excuses. I didn’t want anyone trying to coax me into staying. Luckily, my boyfriend knows the signs. He nodded at me, led me to the car, and we discreetly slipped away.
Relief washed over me, but it took some time to truly calm down. We stopped at a convenience store for drinks and snacks on the way home. Even then, the store lights, music, and checkout beeps were unnerving. Recognising my discomfort, my boyfriend gave me the car keys, and I sat in silence while he finished shopping.
Once we got home, I spent half an hour scrolling the internet, searching “ADHD overload” to reassure myself I wasn’t overreacting. The silent scrolling and reassuring posts finally helped me regulate.
I know how important it is to understand and manage my ADHD. I wanted to be at the party, to celebrate my friend’s birthday. We haven’t had much quality time recently, so even though it wasn’t the kind of event I’d normally attend, I wanted to go. I’m glad I showed my face and hope my exit didn’t cause too much fuss. But above all, I know I looked after my mental health—something I know how to do more effectively post-diagnosis.
To anyone else going through similar experiences, remember: it’s okay to step away. It’s okay to prioritise your mental health.
Understanding yourself and your needs is key to managing ADHD. Be kind to yourself and know that sometimes, slipping away is the best thing you can do.
We’re not antisocial, we don’t hate people, and we’re not anti-fun—we sometimes get overstimulated, and that’s okay, because we can manage it.
I hope the party was epic, I’m celebrating with you - just from a more manageable place.